I played tennis today

. . . so I am starting to feel better.

Lots of little stressors going on and you know how that is.  One thing gets you going and the others just pile on.  Then the next thing you know you are Somewhere East of Reason and you are not quite sure how you got there.

I am having trouble obeying Rule 33 Don’t Let Your Emotions Straddle Events. Lots of events. Lots of adrenaline.  Like I said, you know how it goes.  So I am going to ease the irrationality of my idle mind with a game plan.  Here it is:

Work – that means continue writing my book.

Make E take me to lunch.

Clean something . . .  I have a lot to choose from.

Call Duchess and tell her I cleaned something.

She will probably tell me I ought to do that sort of thing more often, and she would be right.  But I am going to call and tell her anyway.

Scintillating?  No.

Effective?  I sure hope so.

Not Anytime Soon

I have been busy.  I have been annoyed.  And it doesn’t seem as if either one of those things are going to go away anytime soon.

Hence this less than uplifting blog.

I was going to come back here with some answers to questions asked of me over the last few days.  But I am not in the right frame of mind.  I don’t like to give out advice on days I am feeling less than level headed myself.

I will say this though, I have made a great deal of progress on my Long Fuse Big Boom problem.  I now speak up more frequently, with calm, equanimity and rationality.  I have stopped allowing people to push me into corners because I’d rather not be bothered.  Small things do add up.  And I am realizing with greater frequency that I am not always doing a good thing by just going along to get along.

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.  But you can’t just let any old dumb thing happen.  I speak when needed.  Request whenever possible. Command when necessary and do so in a manner that gets me what I want without any hint of anger, though that may be what I am feeling.

I haven’t played tennis in over a week.  I need to hit something that won’t file charges against me if I do.

Peace.

If you have it can you pass some this way?

Out on theTown

So you guys know I don’t go out much right?  Well they had the Creative Arts Emmy presentation last Friday.  This is the technical Emmys where people who do anything from lighting design to make up get their awards.   They added best judge show category to it this year and Divorce Court was nominated.  We didn’t win but it really was cool to be nominated.

Since I came they also asked me to present a few awards. Now THAT made me nervous!

They wanted all of the presenters to do 30 seconds of entertaining banner before they got into it.  I don’t know why but I got all bent out of shape about it.

But it went well.  I didn’t tell any jokes . . . which at an awards ceremony are usually the kiss of death.  But my delivery was funny and everybody laughed so that was cool.  I was so relieved when it was over nothing else mattered.

I do TV and make speeches all of the time.  Weird that I would get bent out of shape about that.  I think maybe it was because I was talking to people ALL OF WHOM were in the industry.  But anyway . . . now I have a new experience under my belt and a new fear behind me.  All a part of the journey

My sister came with me.  It was fun.  She and I got to get all dressed up and hang out together. This is us after we did hair and makeup but before we got dressed:

Ask Me Thursday

SO it’s Ask Me Thursday.  It has been a while so I will go over the format again.

This is an opportunity to ask me questions about stuff.  You know, relationships, problems communicating with people, dealing with difficult relatives.

Can’t answer legal questions.

Don’t ask me anything that would make your mother blush.

I’ll answer the ones I think I can do justice to. And as time permits.

Don’t get offended if I don’t answer yours. Somethings I just have better responses to or sometimes I feel certain answers will help a more people.

So that’s it.  Ask if you have a mind to.

Oh and I forgot to say, I am a woman who has seen a lot and hopes to display objective thought and common sense.

But at the end of the day anything I say here is really just a 10 cent opinion.

And I welcome those of you who believe you have had similar problems to the ones you see here to jump in and give your perspective.

Nightmares in Technicolor and Dolby Sound

I have the most vivd nightmares.  They come in waves – they are all related to the same subject matter (read: my current fears) and they get more elaborate and intricate as the nights pass.  Worse yet, they incorporate whatever disaster movies I have seen or current day, real life difficulties I see on the news.

Sometimes I have to wake myself three or four times a night to make sure it’s not really happenning.

. . . and they are so detailed.  Last night 42 (not 40 or 45) but 42 people died in my dream  right in front of me.

It is funny too.  My present state of distress must be readily apparent to those around me.  The other day E saw me just drop to the floor and start doing push ups.

He said “working on your guns?”

I said, “No, I am a big ball of stress.  Trying to keep my head together.”

As he walked passed he said, “That’s a full time job for you isn’t it babe?”

Me, “31, yes, 32, 33, 34 . . . “