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Video: My Appearance on Good Day NY

June 8, 2012 The Blog 7 Comments

Earlier this week I appeared on Fox 5’s “Good Day NY” to talk about my show “Divorce Court” and my new book, “Making Marriage Work.”

Take a look:

 

 

Trust Yourself

June 4, 2012 Uncategorized 2 Comments

I get a lot of questions from women who have great trust issues with their men.

So I thought I would talk about it.

I know there are women out their who cheat too. That’s another blog for another day. It is just that I just get so many questions from women who seem to feel defined by what their guy does and are so consumed by their inability to control the situation.

There are all kinds of reasons women are mistrustful. Some have been hurt in the past. Some are with guys that they have caught doing the wrong thing. Sometimes we borrow mistrust from those around us who have been hurt.

Before you know what to do about your mistrust you have to answer the question – why?

Is HE truly untrustworthy or are YOU afraid. Or as is often the case is it some of both.

I don’t believe in ‘once a cheater always a cheater.’ I think people can do wrong and turn the corner. You have to be a strong person to make that work though.  They have to work to regain your trust but you have to respond to that effort by learning to trust.

That doesn’t mean you ignore the wrong but you have to assess the risk.

If, however,  someone keeps showing you that he is not trustworthy then that’s what that is. The fact that you love him and have been wonderful to him does not change who they are. You can’t wish it away or constrain it away. Playing inspector gadget is no way to live. The world won’t end when a person who keeps hurting you goes away.

I guess the one thing I would love women to understand is that the more you value yourself, the more capable and strong and interesting you are the more attractive you are not just to your man but to yourself.

Whether he stays or goes you’ll always be with you.  You have to be happy with that person.

The only answer in the end is to trust and work on yourself. Not be defeated or angry.  Don’t just play defense and insist that you need no one. That is a self fulfilling prophecy.

Just be comfortable with who you are and if you aren’t do more. Get better. Make your own joy in a positive pursuit. The better you feel about you the less susceptible you are to what the rest of the world does to you. Including the man you love but can’t seem to trust.
Don’t worry about trusting him.

Trust yourself.

My Mother’s Rule #1: The Smith And Wesson Test

Most people say that they can’t help the way they feel. This is neither good nor true. This is especially true when we talk about changing how we feel. In order to be a good emotional manager, you must decide that you have the ability to choose how you want to feel, and the best way to do that is to take the Smith and Wesson Test.

Ask yourself, “If someone put a gun to my head, would I be able to stop screaming at my kids?” <— That’s just one example… If the answer to that question is “yes,” then your problem is not so much about ability as it is a matter of motivation.

Try this test out and let me know how it goes and how this rule may have helped you by leaving me a comment below.

Read more about The Smith and Wesson Test, when you buy the book “My Mother’s Rules” HERE.

— Judge Lynn

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Q&A About My New Book “Making Marriage Work”

June 1, 2012 The Blog Comments Off

Making Marriage Work: New Rules for an Old Institution

I have been working on it a long time now.  It’s a how to and what I did wrong book all in one!!!!  LOL

Take a look at this Q&A I did about my new book, out in stores in August: Making Marriage Work Q&AMMW_Q_As-1

My Mother’s Rules & Why I’m Sharing Them With You…..

May 31, 2012 Judge Lynn Main, The Blog Comments Off

I wrote my first book, “My Mother’s Rules” as a way to

I’ve decided to begin sharing bits and pieces of all 43 rules with you here on my blog. I will share one a week. I want to know whether they work for you and are helpful to you so from time to time I will ask you to weigh in with your thoughts.

I hope you enjoy them and learn from them and start incorporating them into your lives.

In the meantime, what are some rules you have learned to live by? Share them with me below.

— Lynn

 

 

 

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