Judge Lynn.com

Okay people, I am wordless today. Somebody start a conversation.

That is Rule 37 in the book. One of my Crew Members said she is having trouble with a professor who insults the class, says demeaning things and says that it is painful to be there.

First of all, you are paying for your education so while I understand that you might not want to make waves while in her class, if this problem is extensive you and several of your classmates in a rational manner should let the school know what is going on after you have finished the class

If the class feels universally degraded and you inform the school it will do a couple of things: assist the school in making itself better, help the people in her class in the future and make yourself feel like you have not been abused without recourse. That will give you a sense of power.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER CLASS FORM HER AT SOME TIME – keep that in mind. It just may not be something you are willing to do but remembering that it is an option will make you feel less powerless.

But while you are still in there you can work Rule 37. Remember what she says has nothing to do with you. She says it to everybody. Make observation a project. Think about how interesting it is that a grown person feels the need to do this. When mom runs into these kinds of people she keeps in mind the fact that everybody comes to the party with baggage. You don't know what's wrong with her or why. When Mom runs into difficult people she becomes a professor of human conduct running an observation experiment. (re-read a bit of her story dealing with dad – that might help as much as the rules)

Be like Spock when he saw human emotion. Say to yourself out loud "fascinating."

Look for patterns, does one thing set her off and not another? Are some days worse than others? Not so you can avoid what she does but to put her conduct in the context of a lesson in human behavior as opposed to personal commentary. Don't take in her insults – study them. Think about it as if you are getting a whole second class in psychology free of charge.

My mom was so good at this she could find out what's wrong with a person and work them like a job. She said the other day when we were talking about my Dad "yea, you know once I figure out what kind of crazy you are I can beat you with your own crazy stick"

Most folk can't do that though. I can on rare occasions but it's tough.

Then Globalize you pain quotient. Had you been living in Haiti, it wouldn't be the teacher coming down on you but the very school itself. We are a lucky and blessed people. THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE RIGHT TO FEEL BAD BECAUSE OTHERS HAVE IT WORSE!!!!!!!" It just means that you have the power to feel otherwise.

Feel it! Believe it! Work it like a job! On a mental level (NOT OUT LOUD) Tell that woman to kiss your emotional . . .

Uh oh. Got excited. But you get my meaning.

Lots has been going on lately. Nothing earth shattering, or – depending on your point of view – not terribly interesting at all. But here we go. . .

As you know from Facebook, I went out the other night. Sounds small and mundane, I know but we just don't go out much. I was ready for a funkadelic like house party – why I don't know – but that's just where my head went. But when I got where I was going I was reminded: You are fifty and a lot of your friends are even older. There were two spots right together one with jazz – one where they were dancing. Well, those who were dancing were too young, had all the wrong music and well, it was a no go.

The jazz thing was where all of the interesting people were. I sat next to a couple who had escaped the war in Bosnia. Fascinating people. They spoke three languages fluently. Had great stories to tell. We talked all night (I peppered them with questions)

Finally when I shut up she asked me "what do you do for a living? I said: "I host a TV show. It's on the daytime though but since you work. . . "

She interrupted and said "You know I thought I knew you from somewhere and when I heard your voice I thought it was you but I figured you just wouldn't be sitting here in Phoenix." Then she stopped for a moment and said "you're funny."

I said, "Yea, it's a funny show. The people I see have hilarious stories."

"No," she said, "I mean YOU are funny. The things you say."

It might sound silly but I felt really jazzed by that. People usually say "Oh I never watch" or "Are those people real?" or "Those cases or crazy" or "Can I get a picture?" some say "You give great advice." but I rarely get "You're funny." I consider that such high praise. I suppose because I so love it when others make me laugh. Sometimes I don't think people get my sense of humor. You guys do but sometimes I think my best work -those things I say meant to amuse even in the midst of the madness – isn't clicking.

Well, I take that back. My best work is the moment of real advice I try to pull out for people at the end. But I'm just saying . . .

I did a fundraiser thing for the local elementary school. It went well. Met a lot of nice ladies. Donated books. Told them "you don't really have to want to read it – just buy it and use it as a paper weight if you want – the money is going to the school" The books sold out and some ladies hijacked me afterwards and took me out to a club.

Started a new series of paintings, I call them "Chaos to Order" Whether or not you will ever see them is still uncertain. So far all I have is "Chaos to 'what the heck????'"

I am enjoying Ruthie's new facebook page for My Mother's Rules. I think it is a great forum to talk about "working the rules." It's funny sometimes I get away from working them myself. Even though I wrote the book and lived the life and got the advice live and in person from Mom – sometimes I forget. Working them with you has gotten me back and helped me re-dedicate myself to some that I have fallen short on of late.

Ruthie, if you don't mind could you post the link to that page again here on this blog?

Boomy has been so Boomy of late I can't begin to tell you. I must say though Big E is really making a difference – I might even be so bold as to say I think Boomy is starting to get it.

I was talking to mom the other day. She said "So much of what people do goes unexamined. That's why so many people stay on stupid for so long."

I just love her.

Peace.

I just looked back through my blogs for the last couple of days and there you were, with Ms. E Denise Sheila Arnelle and the whole gang! Maybe I should go back to bed!!!!!!

I was drinking my coffee from my "I'm too Sexy To Be Fifty Cup" and I thought about Ravis. Haven't heard from you in a while. You okay?

Shadeisha it was nice to hear from you after so long. Hope you feel better soon.

Ruthie is working Rule 42 and apparently is having no small measure of success. I hope to be active on the My Mother's Rules Facebook Page she started.

I did a benefit speech last night where I donated 50 copies of the book and gave the profits to the school fundraiser. Had a great time. Met some very nice people. Hopefully made some new friends. It was for a local elementary school. All my kids are passed that age but I am all about education. So I do what I can.

I am still working on something for my crew to send you to take the place of the Fan of the Month. I haven't forgotten. I'm making progress but it's sloooooooooow.

You guys have a great weekend and I will check in with you on Monday!